It was 1am. Using just the ceiling spot lights as my available light and the iPhone propped up against the washing….
Lockdown Self Portrait No3
I learnt so much from the last portrait shoot. The lens distortion is very very real… man those hands will look huge if a smidge too close to the camera… you are literally pulling as much away from the “camera” as possible.
But the main lesson… was ATTITUDE. Seriously you have to look INTO that lens like you mean it. For me I learnt that creating and stepping into a character helped…. personally I dislike having my picture taken. This is why I’m the photographer…but I had a very strong feeling that I was now on a journey of self discovery…
This I call simply Daisy. And when I posted it on social media I said something like
”If you are going to take a self portrait with a daisy, look into the lens with so much conviction no one will ever question you”
Which then prompted offers to to the same… which was soul filling ❤️
Lockdown Self Portrait No2
One of the most popular looks during a Red Shoe shoot is the White Sheet… I wanted a go! If you know me you know how envious I am of every woman that has the Red Shoe experience…
This time I spent more time on my hair and makeup up, found a white sheet and something to prop the iPhone onto while taking the images on timer…
Yes… way more images this time…
Lockdown Self Portrait Photoshoot pt1
I think it was end of April… all I know is the lilics were in full bloom in the back garden. And I was around 5 weeks into an all time flunk. Like I guess many were.
The gravity of the situation became grossly apparent without much warning. I couldn’t go to uni, I couldn’t work in my studio… I was scrambling around putting shoots on hold and having no idea when they would actually happen.
I felt low… my anxiety was through the roof. You see, my trauma response to losing my fiancé in 2017 has been keep busy at all times. Now I couldn’t do this… all I could do was sit with these feelings while sterilising every inch of my home obsessively.
And it was while sat in my back garden… remember how beautiful the weather was?… and I looked across to the tree and thought:
”I would love to do a photoshoot within those lilics”
But I obviously had no one to photograph and the thought of picking up my camera, or even more so switching on my computer to edit, filled me with anxiety… it felt too much. But I had my iPhone.
The problem with the iPhone was the obvious restrictions.. I would have to hold the iPhone, the lens grossly distorts as it’s a 35mm lens pushed up close to your face (Yes you DONT look like that selfie… you look way way better believe me)
But I stepped into the lilics and spent around 20 minutes taking self portraits.
And it felt fun. It was fun working around the limitations of the iPhone… it was fun getting into the character.
This is the 1st shoot of many that I now feel ready to share here…
In that 20 minutes I got just one shot that I liked… but this changed the more self portraits that I did.
Actor head shot in Chester
Today’s shoot for this new actors portfolio
Head shot for business
This business headshot for this amazing, fascinating lady....
She was particularly worried about hair and makeup as she wanted this image to reflect and represent her...
and I believe that this fear is pretty common, this and actually putting yourself out there to get a Head Shot.
However my makeup artist from Goddess makeup classes that is Mandy was sensitive to this and created a perfect natural look to help create an image this business owner is proud of ❤️
What is self-love?
Self love.
I was recently invited to talk at a wonderful women’s event.
And in this talk I spoke about life after trauma and self love. The self love part of the talk was a visualisation exercise, and I would love to share this with you.
Because maybe you have negative connotations about what self-love means? Maybe you have never felt it or understand how it should feel?
And with my experience of all the hundreds of women I have met and photographed over the years, this exercise has been developed.
So thank you Red Shoe Queens... you created this.
When you are ready....
I would like you to imagine I have just given you the most beautiful portrait you have ever seen of yourself. You look happy, content, comfortable in your own skin... you look confident.
It’s like it’s the 1st time you have ever truly seen yourself.
And you are in awe of this woman. You know everything that she has been through in her life... and look at her! Smiling back at you and loving you with whole heart.
And now, I would like you to remember all the times you called her fat.
The times you denied her food.
Gave her the wrong food.
Told her if she had the drink it would make her more confident at the event.
The times you told her she was unloveable.
The times you told her she couldn’t wear that dress... who did she think she was?
The times you called her stupid.
The times you told her friends how much of a mess she was and her life was embarrassing.
The times you listed why she was a failure.
I want you to think about the times she whispered her hopes and dreams with you.
And you shut her down.
Told her she was ridiculous.
And there she is, still smiling back at you. Because she loves you with her whole heart.
Now imagine that portrait is you at 10 years old. What kind of woman did she need in her life? What would you say to her?
Now imagine that portrait is you from 10 years ago. What would you say to her?
Now it’s back to you... today. What message would you say to her?
The portrait has changed to you 10 years from now. What would you say to her?
And now stood in front of you is your 90 year old self. She looks at you with so much love in her eyes. She brings you in for the biggest hug, in your life you have never felt so much love from a hug. She steps back, cups your face in her hands, looks you in the eyes and what does she say to you....? ———————————————-
And that my darling is self love. This is the bases of all love from you, around you, and received back to you. Much love to you today xx
Bridal Portrait Photoshoot
I have been sitting on these images FOR WEEKS! To be fair I have no idea what day it is.... but I’m pretty sure that this beautiful girl has just got married! Sarah wanted to gift her husband to be... and do something for herself.... Congratulations beautiful girl! I hope you had the most perfect day.
❤️ “I’d been toying with the idea of a shoot ever since my friend became a Red Shoe Girl and saw the results of her makeover and photoshoot. She looked fab (always has of course) but the confidence in her shone through and I thought ‘I want that!’ I wanted to feel pretty. I wanted to be beautiful! Turns out, I am! 😉 Mandy and Sarah were nothing less than amazing; they made me feel so relaxed and at ease (I was super nervous, but it didn’t last long) Not only that, I felt pretty, confident, beautiful, even sexy! It was like a spa day for my soul. I’m so happy with the final pictures. I see them and see the beauty in them and in me that I wanted to see. When it was over, I just wanted to do it all over again. Us women are all stunners, and Sarah captures that. If you’re tempted, it’s time to take the plunge. It’ll be the best thing you ever do. Thank you Sarah. For everything”
makeup by Goddess MakeUp Classes
Heart Filler Time
Heart filler time ❤️
“I woke up this morning with a pool of Vicks on my chest & a piece of tissue stuffed up each nostril 😆 I’m still apprehensive posting these BUT it’s what Red Shoe is all about. I hate having my picture taken, I have low self esteem, I spend very little time on me. It took me months to pluck up the courage to book but I’m so glad I did. I was made to feel like a queen & came away elbows out ready to face the world. My parting question was when I could return.....everyone deserves to feel a queen even when their crown has wobbled 👑 Make-up & Hair Goddess MakeUp Classes x”
Christmas 2019 Gift Cards
Know a special someone who would like to be a Red Shoe girl? Or she has already booked in and you would like to gift a little something towards her prints...?!
Check out the Glittery Gold Gift Card’s 😍
Art Exhibition, Be More DKK in Manchester.
Tomorrow evening I am in Manc land.... if you are in Manchester and fancy an evening of art and stuff come over... I shall be there with a couple of my images on display as part of the exhibition 😍
#todoinmanchester #manchesterart #manchestergallery #artexhibition #artexhibitionmanchester #artgallery #artinmanchester #manchesterartgallery #onenightonly @ Manchester, United Kingdom
A returning Red Shoe Girl… My Queen
“My mum died recently.
I’d already booked a return visit to Red Shoe, to take my friend, because I wanted to share the magic with her.
I didn’t want to go.
In my first Red Shoe, Sarah and Mandy helped me face some of the demons of my past, the result being I tapped into a confidence I didn’t know I had, and which has been transformative.
But this time, I was grieving. Didn’t think anything would shine, everything seeming a bit more dull now she’s gone.
If my mum had one stand out quality that she passed onto me, it was to be there for your friends, at all costs, so I went.
As soon as I got there, the warmth from Mandy confirmed it was exactly the right thing to do, at exactly the right time.
Mandy and Sarah have both been on a journey with me, they’ve been there, encouraging and loving, and to spend time with them was healing.
I felt calm. I felt my mum’s presence. She would have LOVED a Red Shoe, and she would have loved me to enjoy it.
Here are the pictures, in them you see me peaceful, happy, contented. Red Shoe is magic xxx“
A Project
You may not know this but I am currently a second year student at Chester University…. I wanted to have the experience of creating but being accountable for it….
This project is about time. About how time is relevant and irrelevant at the same time after something traumatic happens to you.
Time is not a healer….
Things that happen to you do not always simply become memories that you choice to relive or not.
They become you….
I photographed my beautiful fellow widow friend on Ilford black and white film…
We talked…. we compared grief. It felt like a normal conversation, for once. No awkwardness, No one being apologetic or trying to say the right thing. Just honest raw widow talk.
And today was spent in the lab developing and scanning the negatives into contact sheets….
and I had to share them here. This project means so much to me and I simply had to share the journey and process so far….
Next is to select the images that help tell the story…. some of these will also be exhibited and I shall share these details with you soon.
much love
Sarah
The 2nd year….
Two years today my beautiful man. Although time passing and dates feel less relevant than before. No amount of time changes the pain of losing you Rich. We talk about you often... you are very much apart of our lives and I hope we make you proud.
I wrote this on the 15th October 2017, and although my life and the girls lives have carried on when Richs did not... the series of firsts and lasts continues. They continue because of love. The pain and grief is like an old friend.... today is the 2nd anniversary of losing a man that was by far too big and beautiful for this world ❤️
Without you my love my life is now a series of firsts and lasts.
The first time I heard the news.
The first tears that wouldn't stop.
The first time numbness came in.
Thinking about the last time I saw you.
The last time we talked.
The last time I said “I love you”
The first time I had a shower and you were not there.
The first time I removed my nail varnish that I applied with you near.
The first time I stripped the bed, one of the toughest things I have ever had to do... that my darling broke me.
The first time I drove the roads we would travel together to your mums.
Thinking about the last time and you were there with me.
The 1st meal I cooked and no plate for you.
You always cooked anyway... the last bags of food in the freezer that you made so we ate well, are still frozen as I can't bear to know it will be the last time I taste your food.
The 1st wedding enquiry, talking about how happy they are.
The last time we talked of marriage, you said let's do it soon... I replied don't even joke, I would do it tomorrow.
The first time I had wished more than anything that we had....we had done our vows.
The 1st time I managed to sleep... the sofa is my new bed, being in our bed without you is too much.
The 1st morning I woke, and for a second had forgotten what has happened, the last time it hit is worse than the 1st.
The 1st time I put the bins out, a job you insisted was yours.
The last time I held you.
The last time I kissed you.
The pint of milk that you brought went off... pouring that away hurt.
The 1st kilo dropping from the scales... and then the second, then the third. Food does not feed this. One thing feeling the grief, the 1st time you see it reflected back at yourself is another.
The 1st time the girls found out, the last time they asked about you, over and over.
The last time I brought clothes for you was for the last time you would be dressed. The cashier was talking about the weather. It was raining that day.
The 1st time I saw you afterwards... looking peaceful and asleep. I didn't want to leave you.
Was the last time I could stroke your hair, hold your hand...
Was the first time I knew that you were in fact gone... that this was real.
I wore the same clothes on the day that we met for the last time I would be near you.
The first time I asked into an empty room “are you here? Can you hear me? I love you” Is asked as desperately as the the last time I asked...
You would say to me my life does not work without you.... my darling man, my world has stopped without you. I shall love you for all of time... I hope where you are now time is irrelevant, I hope you are waiting for me... I hope you are at peace my love... I hope that all the love that comes from the many beautiful friends, your family... and me... is wrapping around you... I hope you are feeling it right to your core. You are loved, you will always be loved...
I love you, and each and every first and last is there because of my love for you ❤️
Mums Make Porn
One year ago today I was invited to create a casting video for a place on the incredible documentary “Mums Make Porn”
(This is me after two hours sleep after arriving home from holiday and getting up to take my girl to her 1st day of college.....
I was shattered....
Filter was my friend this day...)
On the Wednesday I had a meeting with a director and producer.
On the Friday I was told I had “The Part”
On the following Monday I was on a train down to London for the 1st day of filming....
————————————-
Believe me, in a blink of an eye your world can come crashing around you. The unimaginable pain can be wrapped around you with no warning....
And you know that saying
“life does not happen TO you, but FOR you”
can at times feel like a stinging punishment....
This time last year was LIFE reminding me that:
if in a moment your life can fall apart... this then means, that by odds, by the ying & yang, by the equilibrium of life, that life can also throw an unexpected adventure your way....
So (hey girl!!) this is me reminding YOU....
An adventure could happen to you at any time. And when it does, when it knocks on your door.... as broken as you feel... will you be open enough to embrace it?
Will you take the risk that life can throw you the good & crazy & unexpected... ?
Will you always only expect the “certainty” that only bad things can happen in a blink of an eye? That only bad things are the unplanned, the unprepared....?
Strong back... for the bad
Soft front.... to stay open
And wild heart.... to go on the adventure
Go forward and expect the adventures too xxx
When self belief becomes a daily practice, not a destination 🖤
You kinda believe that once you have done all the self work...
Or reached a weight goal
A business goal
More confident
Feeling stronger in your own capabilities.
That that is,
well,
it.
All work done and you have reached your end point.
And the one thing I have learnt is that....
Once you have reached that goal... whatever that may be for you.... you don’t then stop doing the work.
This is now your new daily practice... it’s work every single day. You stop doing that work and guess what? You are going to end up back at the beginning.
So instead of setting yourself goals, instead of wishing you were more confident/braver/fitter
Darling teach yourself new daily practices!
If listening to motivation videos and audio books help you feel more confident.... then it is now part of your new daily practice.
If going to the gym or walking helps you become stronger, then this is your new daily practice.
There is no quick fix.... there is no one stop shop that can fix how you feel about yourself for the rest of your life.
Ladies that have come to us feel incredible... but afterwards they will have times were old belief systems will creep back in...
Because, you know, well...life....!
I know with a few ladies when this has happened they look at their portraits and say
“What would she do?”
Their portraits are their daily reminder of their authentic true self.... but seriously life will kick you in the arse over and again if you believe short term fixes will change your life....
What new practices can you bring into your daily life? Think about that and less about what you wish needs to happen to create the life fully lived ❤️
Cheshire Business Branding Photo Shoot
Not only do I love empowering women… I am equally as passionate about Business Branding and Marketing.
How you feel about yourself comes through in your business...
Fact.
How do you sell a product or service if you don’t feel confident in who you are? If you don’t value yourself and what you have to offer?
I am so passionate about people becoming the person they are meant to be...not the one their projected self beliefs are...it saddens me when I see someone not living their full potential because of fear... I wonder what gifts they could bestow upon the world if they just
Got
Out
Of
Their
Own
Way???
And so why branding images has become so natural for me to offer, because it is an extension of what Red Shoe is fundamentally about....You being your full potential.
This summer has been full of branding sessions....
Thank you all that entrusted Red Shoe to help you get out of your own way and create content that is authentic to you and that you can be proud to share and talk about what YOU offer...
The world needs more people like you ❤️
To reach your personal goals
You kinda believe that once you have done all the self work...
Or reached a weight goal
A business goal
More confident
Feeling stronger in your own capabilities.
That that is,
well,
it.
All work done and you have reached your end point.
And the one thing I have learnt is that....
Once you have reached that goal... whatever that may be for you.... you don’t then stop doing the work.
This is now your new daily practice... it’s work every single day. You stop doing that work and guess what? You are going to end up back at the beginning.
So instead of setting yourself goals, instead of wishing you were more confident/braver/fitter
Darling teach yourself new daily practices!
If listening to motivation videos and audio books help you feel more confident.... then it is now part of your new daily practice.
If going to the gym or walking helps you become stronger, then this is your new daily practice.
There is no quick fix.... there is no one stop shop that can fix how you feel about yourself for the rest of your life.
Ladies that have come to us feel incredible... but afterwards they will have times were old belief systems will creep back in...
Because, you know, well...life....!
I know with a few ladies when this has happened they look at their portraits and say
“What would she do?”
Their portraits are their daily reminder of their authentic true self.... but seriously life will kick you in the arse over and again if you believe short term fixes will change your life....
What new practices can you bring into your daily life? Think about that and less about what you wish needs to happen to create the life fully lived ❤️
Dear Husband…
This is a message for all husbands/partners/boyfriends
She doesn’t see what you see... this beautiful woman on your arm has absolutely no idea. I know you may not always get this... I know that at times this may frustrate the hell out of you.
Your beautiful, incredible woman standing in front of the mirror crippling herself with self hate talk...
You try and reassure her... you remind her every single day...
And still she does not see what you see...
From my experience this is her journey. You can tell a woman for all of eternity how incredibly brilliant she is... ultimately she has to believe this for herself.
She will only do this if she sees it for herself.
Show her!
Show her with love.
Show her with patience.
Show her by listening, and listen without feeling the need to give a solution.
Show her her worth even when she cannot see it ❤️
Online bullying.
This is such an incredible human... he came to me with this idea. This is for all the hate he has received online and in person... I am honoured to have photographed this image for you Conor ❤️ You are amazing
“For all the hate directed at me, for all the times these hateful words were used against me to try and bring me down... I want you to know, these words do not define me, I am more human and more love than your words”
#pride
