5 tips on how to stand in front of a camera.

I wanted to share with you 5 tips to help you on your way to feeling more confident about having your photograph taken…

When Anxiety Takes Over

I have had to do a LOT of work on this recently. 

Maybe it was the huge workload after the last 7 months?

At one point I was shooting and editing weddings, Red Shoe shoots, full time at University, filming a three part documentary for Channel 4 and a being single mum.
Maybe it is still the process of grief after losing my fiancé...?

But whatever the reason was, recently I was finding it hard to sleep and then waking up feeling the panic that was, already at the start of the day, all consuming... that feeling was taking over... and to be honest I had no fight left in me.

I love books... and for obvious reasons I just didn’t have the time to read/make the time to read...

or go to the gym...

or walk the dog... 

So in my attempt to get some pleasure and time-out back, this year I have been listening to one audiobook per month.

There have been two that I simply lost interest in but I have found the whole audiobook thing really enjoyable and easy to fit in and around my life say while I’m the car or while editing...

Go me multitasking!!

And it was this book that inspired this blog post for you...

And it is:
Brene Brown - The Power of vulnerability.

She has spoken at TedTalk, there is a Netflix documentary, she has written so many other incredible books... seriously if you don’t know about her go and look her up!
Brene has to be one of the most incredible humans!

Yes I love her….

In this book Brene talks about fear, vulnerability & anxiety.... 
She also shares, from all of her research, 10 goalposts to wholehearted living.

And I want to share them with you...

but seriously buy the book!

Goal post number One

Raise your hand if you are a people pleaser?

Raise your hand if you are always putting yourself second?

Raise your hand if you are surrounded by people who don’t do for you as you do for them?

You may hate me for saying this but… I’m going to say it anyway….

By not setting your boundaries, by not being authentic and true to you… you are creating and telling the world that you come second. You are telling yourself that, you are setting those boundaries.

Stop being afraid of pissing someone off because you have to say “No”

Because your boundaries and authentic self is now 1st priority, not 2nd.

But do this in a way of showing compassion to yourself and the other person….. Do this by showing love to yourself and the other person.

Goal post number two

Be kind to yourself darling. Know the difference between YOU being a failure and something not working out as planned.

You are not the only one to have the troubles you are maybe experiencing…. so don’t feel ashamed by them.

Be mindful. Slow down. Ground yourself in this moment you have right now.

Goal post number three

What are your numbing tactics? Scrolling through social media? Smoking? Eating too much, eating too little? Over cleaning the house? What do you do to numb down when you are feeling anxiety?

Sometimes this feels like self care. Understand the difference…. once you recognise this and take action everyday to do something that takes care of you, you will feel replenished and not drained.

Do today something congruent to YOU.

Remember who your friends are… the true ones. The ones where you can pick up the phone, bitch and whine about something shit…. but that you both know that this is just a “thing”

The bad does not define you…

but you can bitch about it,

dump it

and move away from it.

Goal post number four

I have been doing a LOT of business and market research lately… I have been watching video after video of the most successful people within business.

And they all say the same thing….

Gratitude.

Writing down three things every single day…

Making gratitude talk not just self talk, but also making it a daily conversation. What are your children or partner grateful for today?

Make gratitude a daily practice. Yes you have practice this….

Goal post number five

How rough is this one…. ?? Give up the need for certainty???

This for me is a tough one, what do you think? We need certainty in our lives?

Right?

But I guess if we get locked down on the details of how things should pan out then we are going to have more disappointments? Maybe having the faith that everything will work it’s course, that your gut feeling can be trusted? That you have faith and trust within yourself?

Give up the fight…. this one is too tough for me. After my fiancé passed away, in grief I was numb and angry. I battled everything to create the certainty that I needed for my family to be protected and safe. I was no ones victim….

And as Brene says there is an idea that you sit in two camps

Victim

Viking

I was (and am still) a Viking. And the daily battle is tough. One fight done and ding ding I’m looking for the next…. no one was going to look at me and my family as victims.

So I’m working on lowering the gloves. Enjoying the day…. not looking for the next traumatic disaster that I need to prepare for.

Goal post number six

Do you do anything creative….? There is more and more evidence from research now suggesting that Art is not only beneficial for anxiety …. but that being creative is a human necessity….

Don’t think that what you create is never good enough by comparing. Just go and CREATE for you and your soul.

Goal post number seven

How many times have you felt guilt for having a lie in?

How many times have you felt guilty for engaging in something that makes you lose track of time and has no purpose other than you enjoy it….?

Rest darling…. you are not a machine…

Goal post number eight

Repeat….

Anxiety is NOT a lifestyle.

Goal post number nine

Maybe you would like to work full time as a creative writer/photographer/poet? Maybe you need the full time “proper job” to support yourself.

Dont be hard on yourself!! Believe me, being a self employed full time creative is not for everyone. Because you then become a business owner…. and this is a very different thing!

Let go of what it should look like… do it because it brings you bloody joy!

Goal post number 10

You know how you feel and move when you are dancing and singing..?

Now imagine how someone would stand/come across to you if they are cool, calm and have their shit together.

The both don’t match do they? One is expressive, moving freely

The other is stone cold still….

keeping your shit together doesn’t mean you have to close down….!

Dance baby dance…..

I so hope with all my heart that this will help you ❤️

Can you practice all 10 everyday?

Would you like me to send over the goal posts to you so you can have them on your phone as a daily reminder? If so drop me a message and I would be happy to…

I have been really mindful to practice, and I can say hand on heart it is working…

Step into your wholehearted self and life with love, compassion and knowing you are not alone…

much love

Sarah xx

Mother & Daughter day

What gift could you give the woman you love…

Your Mum… Your Sister… Your Friend…

How would it feel to spend the day together and creating a beautiful legacy with a photo session?

Red Shoe wishes to give you an experience like no other….

This is way way more than just a makeover photo shoot… believe me…

This is about you creating a memory that will last for all of time….

This Mother and Daughter shoot is doing this for so many women ❤️ This shoot definitely one of my favourites to photograph…

International Dance Day

💫INTERNATIONAL DANCE DAY💫

Shared from the wonderful mama ballerina Alice Jelly my wonderful ballet dancer for this shoot…

“Wishing all dancers, every shape, size, gender, level, experience, age, genre, ability, a very happy International dance Day! Dance is truly for everyone, and today is a day to celebrate that fact.🎉🎉🎉

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Dance is so much more than winning titles and medals and pretty photos (although you know i love the latter 😂) It's about expressing what's in your soul. It's about release. It's about being able to pause time and live in the moment. It's about conveying a message, and being able to be open and bare and vunerable with your emotions.⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

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I hope you all get a chance to dance today, even if it's round your kitchen with the radio on! Dance for dancing's sake👌🏼👌🏼“

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📷 Red Shoe

Thank you to Sarah for capturing my soul.

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#internationaldanceday #internationaldance #dancephotography #dancephoto #femaleportrait #femaleportraiture #balletphoto #balletpost #ballerinaposed #adultballerina #adultballet #danceforall #danceislife #dancelife #balletlife #weblognorth #webloguk #danceblog #balletblog #adultballetgang #adultballerinagang #enpointe #pointeshoes #pointe

Let’s talk about age shaming

Let’s talk about age shaming.

Because I’m not really hearing this conversation loud enough … it’s like the pink elephant nooooooo one is talking about.

”ermmm frumpy mum sex… I wouldn’t know what that is”

Was said from some 20 something Porn performer to us 5 mums while we were researching the industry for the documentary “Mums Make Porn”

And this comment stung… collectively we had about 120 of sexual experience between us five grown ass women, and here was this 20 something with her all of what, 5-7 years of sexual experience… looking at us like we didn’t have a clue…?!?!

Passive, arrogant age shaming.

So …

You are busy enjoying life, but then something will happen at around 35. The comments will be made about how you dress/your hair/or have you had children will begin to creep in.

Are you not married???

Well wait until you hit 40 and beyond!

Now at your most confident, your most grown, your opinions and thoughts are emotionally and intellectually articulated upon the experiences life has given you... you have absorbed them all...

But honey you are now irrelevant. Apart from the mass beauty campaigns to help keep you “young”... your relevance in this world is no more.

And I see this all the time with every women who has left her 40s... even the women dreading her 40s... She has felt the irrelevance.

So let’s stop this... and it starts with you. You the fabulous, incredible WOMAN that you are... And this is what 40, 50 and 60 looks like...

fabulous, strong, intelligent, interesting, life personified, relevant and incredibly beautiful....

Sarah xxxx

Mothers Day Gift Ideas

{My Mother Kept A Garden}

My Mother kept a garden,

A garden of the heart.

She planted all the good things

That gave my life it's start.

She turned me to the sunshine

And encouraged me to dream.

Fostering and nurturing

The seeds of self-esteem.

And when the winds and rain came,

She protected me enough.

But not too much because she knew

I'd need to stand up strong and tough.

Her constant good example

Always taught me right from wrong.

Markers for my pathway

That will last a lifetime long.

I am my Mother's garden.

I am her legacy.

And I hope today she feels the love

Reflected back from me.

Show you mum with a pamper day she will never forget… maybe for herself or with her daughters…

Prints will be there for her great great grandchildren to see…. A forever gift of love ❤️

Mother and Daughter photo shoot

Morhers Day photo session

Mothers day gifts that mean the world

Why portraits matter…

The wonderful Anne-Marie

“If like me you need some time for YOU!

Some time to feel like the most important person in the room...

Some time to share crazy life stories, to laugh hysterically then to reflect on how precious life can be...

To be made to feel beautiful, to look beautiful even when you think your best years are behind you...

And when the chaos of your life takes over again, and you need a reminder of how amazing you are, just need to sit down and look...

Then be a Red Shoe Girl 👠❤️

Thank you Sarah and Mandy for not only a wonderful

Day but for my beautiful box of memories 💕”

To be a mother means

Chances are you were never shown what self love & care looked liked. What it really meant.

And if you are honest with yourself… what does self care look like to you? Or how do you think other people would feel about you declaring:

“self love for me!!”

You were shown how to be nice and kind to others... you were shown how to care for others. But never were you shown how to do this for yourself.

You may have been shown by actions or overheard conversations that to love yourself is selfish, narcissistic even ... by being shown to put others thoughts and feelings above your own makes you a good person.

We all want to be loved…..

But real self care and self love is not selfish... it is required by you to give the best you can to the others around you.

You cannot pour from an empty cup.

And you feel this, because it should not be this hard!

This is not your fault... this is just learnt behaviour. Your mother was self sacrificing as was her mother.

It is our duty to raise the next generation of daughters to see their self worth. To see their capabilities. To not be self doubting. To have the confidence and the self-belief to go and live their best life.

And this starts with this generation of mothers.

The self sabotaging has to stop...

This is not just a portrait session.

This is your journey to stepping away from your sabotaging beliefs and stepping into the person that raises others up by actions of love.

Love for yourself always transforms those around you...

Female portrait experience in Chester

The wonderful Claire

“All I can say is WOW. What an amazing experience from start to finish. Sarah and Nicole could not have made me feel more at ease, or more special.

It’s been a challenging few years and, in particular, this last year has been a massive journey for me. And like so many others, self-care always seems to get put on the back burner. But sometimes you need to do something for yourself. This was my gift to myself.

I am generally uncomfortable in front of a camera, I don’t really know what to do with myself and I feel silly and out of place. But there wasn’t a chance of that. From the moment I walked in and sat down with Nicole to have my makeup done, we were chatting away about all sorts of things whist Sarah joined in, in between sorting clothes. All day we chatted and laughed. Sarah directed without it really seeming like it and I didn’t feel silly or uncomfortable once because I wasn’t seeing myself as I usually do.

You will walk out of that studio feeling like to have made a friend – both in Sarah and Nicole but also with yourself.

Xxx”

The perfect valentine’s day gift

The perfect oh so sexy gift for this Valentine’s Day...

Red Shoe has created a limited, brand new, photo shoot session exclusively for this Valentine’s Day...

A one hour shoot at our Chester Studio with one 10”x7” beautifully mounted print at just £100

To include hair and makeup is at £160

Get in touch to book your session and gift the print to your lover on Valentine’s Day ❤️

Or you can treat your queen with a gift card to present on Valentine’s Day and she can book her shoot... {major hint alert needed girls}

Bookings for this session are incredibly limited, and the last chance to purchase will be February 12th ❤️

Mental Health Awareness

Today I was invited back to unite the union at airbus Broughton to talk about men’s mental health.....

These guys should be so proud in making this secret killer a normal conversation to have... and also working hard in putting systems in place to support anyone suffering with their mental health.

All for you Rich...
#manupmandown